Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Difference Between "Doesn't Know How" and "Doesn't Want To Know How"

Once again, a couple of recent events have inspired me to post another blog entry. This one is probably going to stir the pot a bit, and I'm sure there will be at least a few people that get upset with this post. However, it's something I think that needs to be said. I have heard a phrase that life isn't easy because it's not supposed to be easy. Each and every day we are tested by something new and different. It's a chance to help us learn and grow as individuals. It's not always fun, but some of my toughest life experiences are also the ones that I have learned the most from either about myself or about people I work with. In my personal email, I end every message with the quote "Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard". I absolutely believe this is true. I am a case study in what you can achieve when you work hard. I definitely haven't always been the most talented at things I've tried to do, but I've always dedicated myself to working hard no matter what I was asked to do or how I was asked to do it. To me, hard work is a critical component to success. I'd much rather have failed at something while working my hardest than getting a reward when I know I haven't given my best effort. There's an inner drive to everything I do that no matter what I am asked, I MUST do my best. Some people would call it OCD, and I'm ok with that.

Before I tie this back to my startup experience, bear with me for a bit of history...

Growing up, my mom's parents were farmers. When I was younger, it was a mix of animal and vegetable farming. As I got older, it was more vegetable farming. Both of my grandparents worked very, very hard their entire lives. They didn't make a lot of money, much like many farmers, but they were proud of what they did and their role in providing fresh meat and produce for others. They were both born and raised as farmers, and that's all they really knew. My mom and her sisters were also heavily involved on the farm growing up. It wasn't an easy life, but it's the one they knew, and all family members were committed to being the best at it that they possibly could. It was all about doing what was right for the family. They didn't like everything they had to do, but not doing it was never a choice. If animals needed to be cared for, or vegetables needed to be harvested, you had to do it. No one was going to come and do it for you. There really was no such thing as a day off when you're a farmer.

My sister, cousins, and I were also all expected to help on the farm when we were needed. The more hands we had doing the work, the less work each of us had to do. Probably my most vivid memories of the farm involved doing what we called "picking potatoes". This involved taking a plow, which sunk deep into the dirt and dug up long rows of potatoes. The plowing was the easy part. The hard part came after the plowing was over. After plowing, we had to get down on our hands and knees, pick up all the potatoes, and put them in a basket. After that, we had to move the dirt around to find any potatoes that were still covered, and put those in the basket also. When we filled the baskets, we put them in a wagon. When the wagon was full, we took the wagon to the house, and carried all of the baskets down to the basement of the house where they would stay until they were sold. It was something we did every August in temperatures between 90 and 100 degrees. We worked 8 to 10 hours a day for almost the whole month of August. People would ask why we didn't just use a machine. The reason was that using machines could damage the potatoes, which means that we couldn't get the most from the crop. Taking a day off was not an option because the potatoes needed to be harvested. No one was going to do it for us. It was just one example where I was "programmed", if you will, to do what needed to be done and do it my best no matter whether I wanted to or not. It's a trait that continues to run deep in my veins to this day.

Recently, in the local paper (Seattle Times), I was reading where there was a shortage in apple pickers and there was risk of losing some of the apple crop. They talked about how there was an attempt to take some of the unemployed in the area, and teach them how to pick apples so that they could make some money and provide for their families. The farmers that were interviewed admitted it was hard work. They also said that most people that tried it lasted less than a week because the work was so physically demanding. Even the people that tried it said it was the most physically demanding thing they had ever done. Even though they needed the money, people just quit because it was too hard. They weren't willing to do what needed to be done even though it was a way for them to make money and support their family. They would rather take it easy and take an unemployment check instead of trying to do what needed to be done. They were taking the easy way out, which I just don't understand. I haven't picked apples, but it did sound very similar to picking potatoes. Yeah, it's hard, but you do what you need to do. And...for the record...I wasn't paid to pick potatoes. It was just part of what was expected of you as a member of the family.

The reason I tell these stories is that they highlight something that is all to prevalent in our society these days. Not only did we run into this problem throughout our years in DecisionPoint, I also see it with people I have worked with since DecisionPoint. I hear some people say that they don't want to do something because it's hard or tedious. In some cases, if they don't know how to do it, they don't want to learn how to do it so that they don't have to keep doing it. They choose not to learn to do something because by not learning to do it, they won't be expected to do it. It's a simple way to avoid doing something you really don't want to do. This even includes things that are very simple to do, but are repetitive or tedious. We all have parts of our jobs that we don't like doing. That's just the way it goes. However, what I really don't like to see is someone that won't do something because they don't want to or don't want to learn how. As a society, we have become spoiled and pampered, and we are taught from an early age that if we don't like to do something, we don't have to. It's ok not to do it because someone else will eventually come along that will do it.

There were a number of times when I was working at DecisionPoint where people would not do something because they didn't want to, felt it was beneath them, or some other excuse. We had a lot of people that did what needed to be done regardless of the task. However, we also had a large number of people that would pick and choose what they wanted to do based on what they felt like doing or what they felt was worthy of their effort. It got really difficult to manage because eventually the "do whatever it takes" group looks at the "do what I want when I feel like it group", and they start to feel ripped off and resentful. Also, the HR rules and threats of lawsuits have become so overwhelming that it's nearly impossible to deal with the "do what I want when I feel like it group". As an employer, they feel you're expecting too much or being too unreasonable. For me, this situation generated the majority of my frustration at DecisionPoint. With my history growing up, it was just understood you did what needed to be done, and also understood that there were things you didn't want to do, but you did them because it needed to be done. I have termed this "situational effort" meaning that you're going to get someone's best effort based on the situation in front of them, and whether they're willing to do what needs to be done. I admit that I hated it and that it made getting something done very unpredictable, which can often spell death for a startup.

Over the years, I saw this type of behavior more and more. Even after DecisionPoint, I still see this behavior in coworkers. And, the older I get, the less patience I have for this. There are times that I think that I take it too seriously and let it get to me, but then I also think that we're letting people get off too easy these days. I believe that part of the cause of our current "great recession" is partially fueled by people that aren't willing to do what needs to be done because it's too hard or they don't feel like it. They do what they want when they want and the rest of society let's them off the hook because it's easier to accept it than try to correct it. When talking to people that I work with that share the same values and work ethic, I use a term for these types of people. I refer to them as "Generation Me". They are only interested in doing something or working hard when there's something in it for them. They don't have a concept of doing something for the greater good or because you have to do it.

I also see this in another aspect of my life, coaching youth soccer. In many circles, I am known as a coach that is tough, but fair. It's also well known that I expect a lot from my players. Not from a talent perspective, but from a work ethic perspective. I am far more accepting of a player that makes mistakes trying their hardest over a player that makes a mistake because they just didn't feel like trying or it wasn't worthy of their best effort. Players will tell me "hey, that's really hard...I don't think I can do it". The ones that try hard even though they're not sure what will happen are usually surprised that they can do it if they're willing to keep trying. I call this relentlessly trying. They're going to keep going and going until they're successful. The players that I have coached that show these traits not only become very successful in soccer, but more importantly, they become successful in life. It shouldn't surprise anyone to hear that the players that possess these traits are not the most physically gifted players. They've always had to work hard just to be able to keep up. Asking them to do a little more is no big deal because they're used to it. The more talented players will usually give up because they're not used to having to work so hard at something, and they don't understand why they should work hard. Part of being a good coach is setting goals for your players, teaching them how to work hard to achieve those goals, and then helping them celebrate when they've accomplished the goal.

This also carries over from the parents. The parents that I have had the best relationships with are the ones where the player has had the drive to work hard and has accomplished far more than anyone thought was possible. The parents I struggle with are the ones that think I push their player too hard and expect too much from them. Those parents would rather make an excuse so that their player doesn't have to work hard rather than expect the player to step up to do what is required. They are doing their children a great disservice when it comes to dealing with things in other aspects of their life.

By now, I'm sure this blog post hasn't been scrambled and hard to follow. It's a particular subject that I am passionate about and have some strong opinions about. In general, I think we have become a softer society because we have lowered our expectations of others rather than asking others to step up and meet higher expectations. They often say that people will only meet the expectations that are set for them. The best advice I have is for each person to learn to expect more from themselves. Try not to leave a trail of missed expectations and excuses that you may regret later in life.

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