Would You Be The One To Jump On The Grenade?

Every once in a while, you see a movie or read a book that causes you to think deeper than you normally would.  As I’ve stated in previous blogs, I’m a huge fan of war movies.  My preferences are ones that are true stories, but I enjoy most war movies regardless.  Last night, I was finally able to sit down and watch the movie “Act of Valor”.  I honestly don’t know if it was based on a true story or not, but the movie was quite good, and at the same time, a bit sad for me.  The theme of the movie is that a team of Navy Seals starts out by rescuing a female hostage that has been undercover tracking terrorist activity, and has gotten captured.  They rescue her, and then start tracking down the terrorists to try and stop them from entering the US where they have plans for suicide bomb missions in large US cities.   It’s a great movie that causes a lot of thoughts and emotions. 

The Navy Seals are a group of elite military personnel that have been trained to do anything to complete the mission, and trained to do anything to support the team.  They each have a role on the team, and no individual role is more important than the others.  However, the team’s strength is their ability to know each other and support each other through thick and thin.  When other teams fall apart, they stick together.   Also, recently one of the motivational quotes I read was from them: Individuals play the game, but teams beat the odds.

What struck me most about the movie was near the end.  They were in hot pursuit of the terrorists, and as they came upon a room, one of the terrorists dropped a hand grenade in the room.  Without even hesitating, one of the Seals jumped on the grenade, instantly killing himself, but saving the rest of the team.  It really got me to thinking about life in general.  None of us face situations like that in our daily lives.  However, how many of us would be willing to be the one that jumps on the grenade knowing that we face certain death, but doing it in order to save the team?  It’s a tough question, and I think all of us would like to believe we would be capable of such a selfless action, but unless we ever faced that situation, we can’t be sure what we would do.

As I reflect on both my life as a professional, and a coach of young athletes, I think about the significance of that action in the movie.  Those who know me well know that I’m both a coach and a co-worker that emphasizes teamwork, commitment, and hard work.  I always want to see individuals succeed.  However, I also feel that their success is much more rewarding when it’s in the context of the team.  No matter how talented a co-worker or teammate is, they can’t do it alone, and their ability to succeed is directly related to their ability to channel their individual talents in the direction that benefits the team.

Unfortunately, our society has become what I call a “me first” society.  In the guise of helping our kids maintain a healthy self-esteem, we’ve almost gone too far by helping them believe that their own interests are more important than the goals of the team.  It’s not 100% this way all of the time, but it’s a trend.  You can look at a sporting event or even corporations these days.  We seem to raise talented individuals to a higher level and treat them special.  Maybe they are more talented than their teammates or co-workers.  That could be the case.  Unfortunately, that’s a very skewed perspective, because very few people actually attain that level of success in their life.  We see these individuals as successful, and want to emulate them even though very few of us will make it that far.

It never ceases to amaze me the number of teammates (and their parents) and co-workers that feel they are privileged and should be treated as special.  The bottom line is that our ability to succeed in life is mostly defined to our ability to get along, work, and cooperate with each other.  What would happen if each of us would take more of the Navy Seal approach, and not only appreciate ourselves for our individual ability, but more importantly, appreciate ourselves for our ability to use those skills in the context of the team.  That’s not to say that some level of individualism is bad.  However, individualism for the sake of individualism, in spite of team goals, is wasteful.

I sometimes have conversations with others in my profession about the definition of success.  Too often, the people I talk to view success as their ability to achieve something and make a lot of money.  Rarely do you hear them talk about the team they built, how they fit into that team, and the value of that experience in their life.  I guess I’m different that way.  I did “ok” in terms of success and financial reward.  I certainly was not able to retire off of what I made starting my own company.  However, I will always be proud that I was able to channel my talents and individual abilities in the context of the larger team and how we worked together.  Unfortunately, most people I talk to only look at the financial rewards and quickly conclude I did not succeed.  I disagree completely.

In a previous blog post, I referenced a series of quotes.  One of the quotes I really like is “Care more than others think is wise”.  I also mentioned in that blog that caring deeply is a critical component of who I am.  I can’t just be part of a team or a work environment.  I have to know the people I am on the team or working with to a much deeper level.  It’s just how I’m programmed, and it has always served me well.  As I reflect on the people I’ve gotten to know and work with, I have a sense that I’ve had an impact on their lives.  Not because I’ve done anything special, but more because I was willing to allow myself to care for them beyond what others thought was reasonable or wise.

I look at DecisionPoint, and reflect that we weren’t successful as others define it.  Sure, we stayed in business for 10 years and were acquired by a larger organization.  However, none of us made a ton of money from that venture.  Because I am different than others, I do consider it a success because of how I connected with many different co-workers, and the impact I had on their lives.  I am constantly reminded of that when I get an email from a former co-worker, soccer player, or coach that I worked with.  The fact that these people continue to reach out to me long after I have stopped working with them is all I need to tell me what kind of impact I had.  And honestly, it feels really, really good.  Was it a risk to care enough to connect with these people?  Yes.  Did everyone appreciate the effort?  No.  Does it matter?  The only thing that matters is that I tried to make a difference, and that has to be good enough.

I look at the fact that I get invited to weddings of former co-workers, graduation and award ceremonies for former players, and coaches that come to me to seek my advice, and that’s what makes me believe that the level of caring I showed made a difference.  Additionally, my wife and I recently attended a wedding where we caught up with former co-workers from DecisionPoint.  I was reminded of my impact by one couple that their daughter, who was very young at the time and who I haven’t seen in a long time, still refers to me as “Uncle Larry”.  For me, it wasn’t just about reaching out to the co-worker, but rather understanding him at a deeper level, and caring not just about him, but the important people in his life. 

Now that I rambled on, let me bring it back to jumping on the grenade.  Why do I believe I would jump on the grenade?  Because I have.  There are multiple times over the years I was at DecisionPoint where I had offers to leave and make a lot more money, and achieve a lot more notoriety.  I could never do it because I felt that I would be letting down the team and the people in my life that mattered.  To me, walking away would have been like ducking behind a wall when the grenade was about to go off while my teammates were maimed or killed.  Yes, that’s an extreme view, but that’s how I viewed it.  We had all worked hard leveraging our individual talents for the sake of the team (DecisionPoint), and it’s success.  We all had individual capabilities, but without trust and coordination, we were not going to succeed.  Every person was important because of the role they performed and the benefit it brought to the team.  I was not about to make a selfish choice that I felt would be detrimental to my teammates and the people in their lives that they care about.

I have carried that mentality in my post-DecisionPoint career, and will continue to do so.  I’m just programmed that way.  Admittedly, I do get frustrated by people that do not think that way, and there seem to be more and more of those people as I get older.  However, I have to step back and remind myself that I am the way I am, and I can’t expect everyone to be that way.  It’s a struggle big time when you see a teammate or co-worker knowingly do something in their own interest that does not benefit the team, and that’s hard to swallow.  However, I also have to remind myself that I can’t control that.  I can only do what I do.

So, as you read this blog, it would be interesting to reflect on whether you would be the Navy Seal that was willing to jump on the grenade to save your teammates at the detriment of yourself.  Would you have the courage to do it or would you walk away?  People that don’t finish reading this blog post probably would not because they are probably the ones that would walk away.

I will not, because I have to be that person.  I have to jump on the grenade….