The Relentless Pursuit of Self Improvement

I find myself writing this blog entry with about a thousand thoughts bouncing around in my head.  I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while, and hope that I can keep myself organized enough to convey my thoughts on the topic.  I think that no matter what age you are, you can always improve and try to be better.  It’s certainly not easy, it can be tiring, and often the messages that you receive that enable you to improve can be difficult to hear from others.  It would be far easier to ignore that feedback and just stay the way you are.  However, it takes more courage and strength to accept where you’re at and where you need to go.

As someone who is very sensitive to the views of others, and how I am perceived by others, I tend to be very sensitive when it comes to feedback.  Initially, the feedback can cut very deep and bring out some intense emotions about being viewed negatively.  I know I shouldn’t be so hung up on what others think, and trying to please others.  However, as someone who is programmed to please other people, it’s just the way I am.  Also, after I’ve had the chance to process the feedback, I often realize that while I find the message difficult to hear, there are always nuggets of information that help me improve.  I realize that I have one of two choices.  I can take the feedback and use it to make myself a better person, or I can ignore the feedback and stay the way I am.  To me, it’s not a choice.  I have to improve. 

As a former competitive athlete, it’s just natural for me to want to improve.  When you play a sport, you do so because you are always trying to get better at it.  The only way you get better is to accept feedback and use it to move forward and get better.  If you don’t get better, it’s “on you”.  And, yes, I’ve played for some of the harshest coaches you can imagine.  Most would say that they border on verbal and physical abuse.  In those days, there wasn’t a lot of emphasis on how the message was delivered, it was just delivered, deal with it.  Yes, I’m a bit scarred from it.  I think that’s one of the reasons that when I coach and have a tough message to deliver, I spend a lot of time thinking about the message, what I have to say, and how I have to say it.  Do I make mistakes?  Sure.  Am I always the best at it?  No.  Sometimes emotions get in the way.  However, I try.

One of the things I struggle with these days in both my work and personal life are people that refuse to accept feedback.  In other words, they hear what you have to say, and then for whatever reason, decide that they don’t need to do anything.  In a worst-case scenario, they refuse to listen and say “don’t yell at me” or “don’t criticize me”.  Even in cases where you bend over backwards to deliver the message as palatable as possible, they just don’t want to listen.  They would rather accept things the way they are and keep doing what they’re doing. 

I think some of it is related to change.  Many people don’t like change.  They’re comfortable with where things are at, where they’re at, and would rather just keep going the way they are going.  Anytime there is a change, there is a risk.  A risk that you will be worse off than before, or that you’ll lose what you have.  That’s a natural fear.  However, you have to also look at the other side of things.  Change may mean that you are better than before or have more than before.  Yes, we are just talking about change to a personal trait or behavior, so it may not be as dramatic as another change in your life.  But, change is change no matter how big or small that change is, and it draws a natural flitch reaction in many people.

The other thing that I find frustrating is when others expect to give you feedback and expect you to change, but when you ask them to do the same, they refuse.  I will accept feedback, even when it’s difficult to hear.  However, I am less likely to use that feedback to change when the person making the request is not willing to do the same.  I feel that life is about compromise, and when you have expectations of others, you should expect at least the same from yourself.  If not, you shouldn’t expect others to change.

When I reflect on my career at DecisionPoint, and since DecisionPoint, I look at many situations where I or we could have done better or improved.  Our ability to improve was related to our ability to accept feedback and adjust and change along the way.  There are several instances at DecisionPoint where we did not accept the feedback, but stubbornly continued to do what we were doing, while trying to do it harder or better.  Looking back, our time would have been better spent listening to the feedback we were receiving and doing a better job to incorporate that feedback and change.  While we were relatively successful doing what we were doing, I often wonder what we could have done had we been more open to change based on feedback from others.  It reminds me of a quote I have often used:  “What’s the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over again…expecting different results”.

My advice to those reading this blog entry now is to reflect on whether you are someone that accepts feedback and is willing to adapt and adjust based on that feedback.  If not, please think about whether you can change your approach.  You will often find that even the smallest changes based on the feedback of others will have a dramatic improvement on you or your current situation.  The first step in that journey is to be able to be able to get over the intense negative feelings that some of the feedback can stir up, process the feedback for what it is, and then do what you can to use that feedback to improve.

As I’ve often said, “accept change, and find out what you are truly capable of”.  It’s not easy, and will never be.  However, if you do, you might be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Embrace Change…And Find Out What You’re Capable Of

Today’s blog entry is inspired by a couple of different events from the last couple of weeks.  Overall, July has been an interesting month for many reasons.  There have been a lot of changes going on at work, and I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about change and the different reactions that people have to change.  As I was doing some chores around the house, I had time to think and string some thoughts together.

As I reflected on the month of July, I realized that a person’s attitude towards embracing change is a direct reflection of the cause of the change.  I was invited to a friend’s house for the 4^th of July to spend time with her, her family, and her friends.  I had a great time while I was there.  Her daughters know me as “Uncle Larry”, and it was a good chance to get to spend some time with them.  As I was talking to one of the daughters, she made the following comment:  “I’m not very good at writing”.  Immediately, my coaching instincts kicked in and my response was:  “It’s not that you’re not very good at writing, but rather you need to work at it”.  Her father’s response was in the line that it was a great way to look at the situation.  When I coach youth soccer, most of the players I work with really begin to improve when they change their mental attitude about their ability.  So, whenever they say they’re not very good at something, I immediately correct their perspective, and make them realize that they just need to work at it more.  It’s the difference between a negative and a positive view of the situation.

What I have discovered as a coach is that if a player has a negative attitude about their ability to get better at something, often working at getting better will be viewed as a difficult chore, and they will be less willing to work at it.  When they have a positive attitude about their ability to get better at something, they are often motivated by the perspective that they are working to get better.  Of course, it’s not as simple as that.  One of the things I also do is put measurements in place with the player where we regularly track their progress and set new goals for how they want to get better.  I will typically do this with a visual tracking system where the progress is easy to see.  Having visual reminders and progress is often a motivator.  You have to remind the player that they are not always going to consistently get better.  They will have dips in performance, but that shouldn’t deter them. 

Along with this, the last couple of weeks at work have involved making changes to try to improve what we do and how we do it.  Quite often at work, not matter where I've been, there are two ways that different people approach change.  One group of people views change as something that has been forced on them, and something that will cause a disruption in the way they do things.  Another group of people views it as a challenge, and use it as a way to step up their game to see what they’re capable of.  In my experience, the first group resists change because they view it as a chore.  The second group looks at it as an opportunity, and is more apt to embrace and pursue the change.

Throughout my career, I have often found myself sitting in meetings where we were talking about current processes and changes to make improvements in the current processes.  The meetings can be interesting because you have some people where no matter what is suggested, they find a reason not to change.  Change is viewed as hard, and viewed as a chore.  Then, you have other people that view change as a way to make positive improvements, and embrace the change.  The difference between the two groups is not the change itself, but rather their mental perspective about what change means.

One very common misinterpretation of a suggested change is that people take it personally, like they’re not doing their job or that others think the job can be done better by other people.  Immediately, the barriers and defense mechanisms kick in, and no matter what you suggest, there is resistance to change or denial that any improvements need to be made.  In almost every case, it’s no necessarily the person’s fault as to why things need to change, but rather the process they are using.  In this situation, what you need to do is continually have the people involved focus on the change of the process, and to try to keep reminding them that it’s not a personal attack, but rather an “attack” on the situation.   

I have a confession to make.  I’m not always really good with change either.  Many people I work with may not view me that way.  Externally, I often come across as someone who embraces change, and is always looking to improve.  However, internally, I often struggle with it.  I take my job and what I do very personally.  I always want to be the best that I can be and succeed at everything I do.  So, when it comes time to change or improve something I have done, it can be difficult to deal with.  However, I have come to a point in my career where I can push those feelings aside and do what needs to be done.  So, even though my initial reaction may be that of fear or resistance, after I’ve had time to process it, I’m able to move forward and do what needs to be done.  That’s the key.  You need to be able to process your fears, push them aside, and then do what needs to be done.

As far as managers go, I think there are a couple of things that people need to keep in mind.  First, is the fact that not all people accept change at the same pace, and your going to have to do more hand holding with some people when it comes to working through feelings and accepting change.  To go with that, you also want to make sure that you take the time to review a change that someone made, and show them how a change made a positive impact.  When you do this, the next time they are asked to make a change, it will be a less painful experience.  Second, you need to put processes and policies in place that encourage change.  This could be in the form of recognition or rewards for ideas and behavior that contributed to positive change.  Third, it needs to be visual.  Almost everyone is motivated when they walk by some sort of visual measurement system where they can see that progress is being made.  Verbal acknowledgement is a great thing and still required, but when people have something visual to look at, it’s a regular reminder of the progress they are making when it comes to change.

If you’re a non-manager that is reading this blog entry, I challenge you to do what you can to accept change.  Change is not easy, no matter who you are.  However, I have found throughout my career that when I put my feelings aside and accept change, I am often surprised at what I am able to accomplish.  So, as the title of the blog goes… Embrace Change…And Find Out What You’re Capable Of.  You will be surprised with the results.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

An event that happened to me at work last week is the inspiration for this blog.  It’s caused me to reflect on what I’ve done, where I’ve been, and how I wish to be remembered when the day is done. 

Lately, a lot of tough challenges and sticky situations have been thrown my way to deal with at work by both my boss and her boss.  While I joke that I’m their personal “black ops team” (i.e. go in, figure it out, get out, and not be noticed…maybe), I have to admit that it’s been a lot of fun.  They both know that nothing inspires me more than something that challenges all of my abilities, and requires a bit of creativity in coming up with the right solution.  Honestly, the tougher the challenge, the happier I am.  Yes, it does get to me once in a while because I have a lot of ups and downs where I’m just not sure how I’m going to get something done.  However, I never give up and push myself through the difficulties.

So, we had an organization meeting last week, which we do about every other week just to keep everyone on the same page because there are so many changes we are all dealing with.  For this particular meeting, I had originally decided to skip it because I was working on one of those black ops problems and didn’t want to disrupt my thought process.  As I was working, I got an instant message from my boss.  “Are you at your desk?”  My response was a simple “Yes”.  Her immediate response was “get your butt to the meeting”.   We have a great relationship, so I knew two things.  First, it was her funny way of telling me to do something.  Second, she doesn’t tell me to do something that directly very often, so I should probably comply.  Those who know me know that my gut reaction to management is to give them a hard time before I comply, but in this case, I did not.

When I got there, we were having a review of the upcoming open house our department is having.  The goal is to have a tradeshow like environment where we can invite the entire company to come and see what we do, how we do it, etc.  It’s been a long time since our department has done anything like that, so we have been working very hard to make sure this is the best one ever.  We really want to create a positive atmosphere, and reach out to the people in the company that we work with.  I’ve been spending a lot of time helping others with this event as I’ve done a lot of tradeshows before, and have some pretty good ideas to help each group “advertise” their capabilities.  I guess spending some time in sales did pay off…

Anyway, we were reviewing the schedule and commitments and making sure that everyone knew what they were responsible for.  My first thought was that it was good that I did come just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything.  I have been involved in so many different things that it was good just to make sure that everything was in check and there wasn’t anything else I needed to be doing.  Good thing I was told to get to the meeting.

At the end of the meeting, there was another announcement.  My boss’ boss had a special presentation to make, and it was for me.  I thought, wow, this is nice.  I’ve done a lot lately, but don’t really spend too much time thinking about the rewards, but rather just trying to do the best job I can.  The award was very simple, but also touched me very deeply.  It’s through this award that I will talk about the topic of this blog.  However, first, I want to share what was said:

“Larry makes one extraordinary contribution after another.  No matter the situation, how busy he is, or who is asking, Larry is always willing and able to consult on anything.  Excellence, teamwork, and devotion to user needs are always the drivers of Larry’s work.”

“We appreciate your passion and constant willingness to go the extra mile!  You push everyone in EIM to think outside of the status quo box and drive us toward meeting our customer/stakeholders’ data needs while at the same time helping us develop better relationships as an EIM team.”

OK, before I go on, I want to make sure that I’m clear.  I am very proud of this, as I think I should be.  And, I am very proud that my boss took the time to write this up and make a formal presentation.  It’s very flattering, and to me, it shows just how much I’m appreciated.  As of tomorrow, this will be framed and hanging in my office.  However, while some may see it as bragging, I am using it to make a point.

I’ve reached a point in my career where I often think about my legacy and how I want to be viewed.  As I’ve said many times in many different blogs, I never viewed my career, especially starting DecisionPoint, as a way to get rich and famous.  It was a way to do the things that I love and have an impact on the lives of others (co-workers, customers, etc.).  To me, it’s not success if you have individual success, but you “leave a trail of dead bodies” (i.e. people you’ve thrown under the bus to get ahead) in order to get there.  I have always wanted to be viewed as someone who was not only successful, but also someone who was willing to help inspire others to achieve success as well.

While I can’t remember the exact wording, I remember seeing a motivational poster where a grandfather is walking along the beach with his grandson.  The quote goes something like this:  in the end, it’s not about how much money I’ve made, but rather the number of lives I’ve touched.  This really speaks to how I try to live my life, both personal and work life.  I want to be viewed as someone who always tried to help make things better and help others achieve their goals.  I’m driven to help others, and while it hasn’t always contributed to financial success, it’s contributed to my success.  I love waking up each day reflecting one what I’ve been able to do and how I’ve been able to help others.  I also reflect on what I can do to make things better and help others be successful.  It just makes me feel really, really good inside.

So, I finish this blog with a challenge to all that read it.  When you wake up each day, rather than think about what you need and how you need it, think about how you can help others and make a difference in their life.  If you take this perspective, your own rewards will be taken care of.  Instead of “what have you done for me lately?”, the question should be “what have I done for someone else lately?”

I want to thank both my boss and her boss for being the best they can be, and reminding me every day of what’s important, and why I do what I do.  You both are the best!!!

Fear is the imaginary mountain that hides the horizon

I once again find myself writing a blog post based on one of the inspirational quotes from the coach’s motivational reference document that was shared with me coupled with a recent work experience.  I am often intrigued by what motivates people and why.  The answer is never very easy because each person is different, and we all react to situations in our lives differently.  However, I think one of the ways you learn the most about people is how they react when they are in a situation where they have to face fear. 

Fear can either be a tremendous motivator or a tremendous “de-motivator” depending on the situation and who you are.  Also, there is a time factor involved.  In many cases, the initial fear reaction generates different behavior than later when the initial reaction has faded.  I must admit that in many situations for me personally, the initial reaction is much different than after I’ve had time to process and figure out what needs to happen next.  I think the biggest difference between individuals is how quickly the initial fear reaction fades, or even if it does, and when the person is ready to move to the next step.

If you read my last blog post about the Navy Seals, I think you would agree that these are individuals that are trained to overcome the ultimate fear, that being the fear of death, in order to do their job.  In their situation, fear that causes even the smallest delay in reaction can cause the ultimate sacrifice for individuals or the entire team.  That’s why you’ll often hear them referring to the importance of their training.  They want to be so well trained that they can react instantly to any situation without the risk of fear or any other emotion getting in the way of doing their job.    In many ways, they use confidence in their ability to do their job to offset whatever fear they might feel in a given situation.  While I’m not sure I could ever conquer my fears as well as those in the Navy Seals, the situations in which I’ve had to face fear have also not been nearly as intense as the situations they have faced. 

Throughout my career, I have faced many fearful situations.  As I reflect, I also realize that much like the Navy Seals, I have had to use the confidence in my abilities and those of my teammates to offset those fears.  There is a delicate balance involved because you can sometimes be overconfident in your abilities and the abilities of your teammates, which can lead you to situations where you get in over your head because you thought you could conquer anything thrown your way.  It reminds me of a phrase I’ve often heard in athletics:  Confident, not cocky.  It’s a fine line, that’s for sure.

If you’ve read past blog posts, you may remember my mentioning my time at Sequent.  I believe one of the most fearful situations I faced at Sequent was when I was called into the CEO’s office and told I was going to Germany the next day as part of a team for a critical customer benchmark, he couldn’t tell me when I was coming home, and I had to win the benchmark.  At the time, I was 25 years old with a wife and a very young son.  I was definitely afraid, and felt a bit alone in the whole situation as I didn't know a lot about the team I would be part of.  However, saying no to the opportunity was not an option.  Also, after the initial fear reaction subsided and I had time to think, I realized that I was fully capable of doing what was asked of me.  That doesn’t mean that I didn’t have twinges of fear.  I certainly did.  However, I reached a point where I just had to trust my training and instincts and those of my teammates in order to accomplish the task at hand.  At the end of the situation, we did win the benchmark, and won the business.  Had I not overcome my fear and trusted my teammates, I’m not sure that would have been the case.

When I started DecisionPoint, there were a lot of fears.  I was leaving a good job with a great company in Sequent, and I was about to do something that is more known for failures than for successes.  It would have been easy to give in to my initial fears and decided not to start DecisionPoint.  However, I also had to take time and process that fear and channel it, realizing that I was confident in my abilities and the people I would be working with to do the job, and that if it didn’t work out, I was confident in my abilities to take my career in a new direction.  I think that’s the hardest part.  You have to try to put aside the thoughts of doubt about whether you can recover if something doesn’t go the way you planned it to go.  You ask yourself if you can conquer the fear of failure knowing you can change directions if you need to.

Conquering fear also extends to your teammates.  It’s not always about your individual abilities, but rather the collective abilities of your teammates that can determine fear and the reaction to it.  I think one of the things that got me through situations at both Sequent and DecisionPoint also had to do with my confidence in the abilities of my teammates in addition to my own.  Like the Navy Seals, the strength of the team is greater than the strength of the individuals on the team.  Good teams become great when the members are confident that their collective skills can get them through any situation or adversity.

More recently, I have been asked to take on some difficult tasks at work.  Some of these things have been long standing problems or situations due to the complexity involved.  I also often hear others say things like it can’t be fixed, that others have unsuccessfully tried to fix it, and that it’s just too hard to fix.  I have never been one to accept that stance.  Everything is fixable with enough time, patience, energy, and confidence in myself and my teammates.  I know that if I can put my fears aside and step forward, my teammates will step forward with me. Very often, individuals are willing to step forward and put their own fears aside, but they are only willing to do so if someone will step forward with them.  For the people I work with, I don’t look for them to be the first to put their fear aside and step forward.  All I ask is that if I’m willing to do it, I want them to do it with me.  More importantly, the teammates that aren’t willing to step forward with me are telling me something about them.  They may never step forward, which is sad for them.  There’s not much I can do about that, and I have to admit it’s very frustrating to me.

Naturally, there is fear that goes with these situations.  The situations have existed for a long period of time for any number of reasons, and have been looked at by many different individuals prior to me or other members of the team.  It would be easy for me to give in to fear using the excuse that others have looked at it, so it must be too difficult for me to accomplish.  That could be caused by the initial fear reaction.  However, I also have to have some confidence in my abilities, my teammate’s abilities, and know that even though others have looked at the situation, they may not have had the same experiences or background as I or any of my teammates have had. 

I remember a funny movie I like to watch called “The Replacements” that also has some important lessons in it.  It’s the story of a bunch of former athletes that come together on a football team as replacement players when the regular players go on strike.  At one point in the movie, the quarterback and coach make an important observation.  The quarterback talks about fear of quicksand in the context of playing the game.  How there are times that you’re trying your very hardest, but no matter what you do, things aren’t going your way.  Much like being in quicksand.  No matter what you do, the situation gets worse.  The coach follows that by acknowledging what the quarterback is talking about in the context of fear.  He then makes the statement that now that the fear is shared amongst the teammates, they can work to conquer the fear together.

With that, I’ll finish off this blog entry.  The key point is that we all face fear.  However, what defines us is how we react to that fear and what we do about it.  The easy thing to do is run away.  In order to get better, though, what you really need to do is face your fear and conquer it.  Also, realize that you aren’t alone in your fear.  Others have fear also.  However, once your fear is shared, there is a collective confidence that you can conquer your fear together.  Like the last blog entry, I’ll finish this off with a question.  Conquering fear involves someone being the first to step forward, acknowledging the fear, and be determined to conquer it.  Others that matter will follow that lead.  The question is whether you are willing to be the first one to step forward.  Will you stand up and be counted when it matters the most?

Would You Be The One To Jump On The Grenade?

Every once in a while, you see a movie or read a book that causes you to think deeper than you normally would.  As I’ve stated in previous blogs, I’m a huge fan of war movies.  My preferences are ones that are true stories, but I enjoy most war movies regardless.  Last night, I was finally able to sit down and watch the movie “Act of Valor”.  I honestly don’t know if it was based on a true story or not, but the movie was quite good, and at the same time, a bit sad for me.  The theme of the movie is that a team of Navy Seals starts out by rescuing a female hostage that has been undercover tracking terrorist activity, and has gotten captured.  They rescue her, and then start tracking down the terrorists to try and stop them from entering the US where they have plans for suicide bomb missions in large US cities.   It’s a great movie that causes a lot of thoughts and emotions. 

The Navy Seals are a group of elite military personnel that have been trained to do anything to complete the mission, and trained to do anything to support the team.  They each have a role on the team, and no individual role is more important than the others.  However, the team’s strength is their ability to know each other and support each other through thick and thin.  When other teams fall apart, they stick together.   Also, recently one of the motivational quotes I read was from them: Individuals play the game, but teams beat the odds.

What struck me most about the movie was near the end.  They were in hot pursuit of the terrorists, and as they came upon a room, one of the terrorists dropped a hand grenade in the room.  Without even hesitating, one of the Seals jumped on the grenade, instantly killing himself, but saving the rest of the team.  It really got me to thinking about life in general.  None of us face situations like that in our daily lives.  However, how many of us would be willing to be the one that jumps on the grenade knowing that we face certain death, but doing it in order to save the team?  It’s a tough question, and I think all of us would like to believe we would be capable of such a selfless action, but unless we ever faced that situation, we can’t be sure what we would do.

As I reflect on both my life as a professional, and a coach of young athletes, I think about the significance of that action in the movie.  Those who know me well know that I’m both a coach and a co-worker that emphasizes teamwork, commitment, and hard work.  I always want to see individuals succeed.  However, I also feel that their success is much more rewarding when it’s in the context of the team.  No matter how talented a co-worker or teammate is, they can’t do it alone, and their ability to succeed is directly related to their ability to channel their individual talents in the direction that benefits the team.

Unfortunately, our society has become what I call a “me first” society.  In the guise of helping our kids maintain a healthy self-esteem, we’ve almost gone too far by helping them believe that their own interests are more important than the goals of the team.  It’s not 100% this way all of the time, but it’s a trend.  You can look at a sporting event or even corporations these days.  We seem to raise talented individuals to a higher level and treat them special.  Maybe they are more talented than their teammates or co-workers.  That could be the case.  Unfortunately, that’s a very skewed perspective, because very few people actually attain that level of success in their life.  We see these individuals as successful, and want to emulate them even though very few of us will make it that far.

It never ceases to amaze me the number of teammates (and their parents) and co-workers that feel they are privileged and should be treated as special.  The bottom line is that our ability to succeed in life is mostly defined to our ability to get along, work, and cooperate with each other.  What would happen if each of us would take more of the Navy Seal approach, and not only appreciate ourselves for our individual ability, but more importantly, appreciate ourselves for our ability to use those skills in the context of the team.  That’s not to say that some level of individualism is bad.  However, individualism for the sake of individualism, in spite of team goals, is wasteful.

I sometimes have conversations with others in my profession about the definition of success.  Too often, the people I talk to view success as their ability to achieve something and make a lot of money.  Rarely do you hear them talk about the team they built, how they fit into that team, and the value of that experience in their life.  I guess I’m different that way.  I did “ok” in terms of success and financial reward.  I certainly was not able to retire off of what I made starting my own company.  However, I will always be proud that I was able to channel my talents and individual abilities in the context of the larger team and how we worked together.  Unfortunately, most people I talk to only look at the financial rewards and quickly conclude I did not succeed.  I disagree completely.

In a previous blog post, I referenced a series of quotes.  One of the quotes I really like is “Care more than others think is wise”.  I also mentioned in that blog that caring deeply is a critical component of who I am.  I can’t just be part of a team or a work environment.  I have to know the people I am on the team or working with to a much deeper level.  It’s just how I’m programmed, and it has always served me well.  As I reflect on the people I’ve gotten to know and work with, I have a sense that I’ve had an impact on their lives.  Not because I’ve done anything special, but more because I was willing to allow myself to care for them beyond what others thought was reasonable or wise.

I look at DecisionPoint, and reflect that we weren’t successful as others define it.  Sure, we stayed in business for 10 years and were acquired by a larger organization.  However, none of us made a ton of money from that venture.  Because I am different than others, I do consider it a success because of how I connected with many different co-workers, and the impact I had on their lives.  I am constantly reminded of that when I get an email from a former co-worker, soccer player, or coach that I worked with.  The fact that these people continue to reach out to me long after I have stopped working with them is all I need to tell me what kind of impact I had.  And honestly, it feels really, really good.  Was it a risk to care enough to connect with these people?  Yes.  Did everyone appreciate the effort?  No.  Does it matter?  The only thing that matters is that I tried to make a difference, and that has to be good enough.

I look at the fact that I get invited to weddings of former co-workers, graduation and award ceremonies for former players, and coaches that come to me to seek my advice, and that’s what makes me believe that the level of caring I showed made a difference.  Additionally, my wife and I recently attended a wedding where we caught up with former co-workers from DecisionPoint.  I was reminded of my impact by one couple that their daughter, who was very young at the time and who I haven’t seen in a long time, still refers to me as “Uncle Larry”.  For me, it wasn’t just about reaching out to the co-worker, but rather understanding him at a deeper level, and caring not just about him, but the important people in his life. 

Now that I rambled on, let me bring it back to jumping on the grenade.  Why do I believe I would jump on the grenade?  Because I have.  There are multiple times over the years I was at DecisionPoint where I had offers to leave and make a lot more money, and achieve a lot more notoriety.  I could never do it because I felt that I would be letting down the team and the people in my life that mattered.  To me, walking away would have been like ducking behind a wall when the grenade was about to go off while my teammates were maimed or killed.  Yes, that’s an extreme view, but that’s how I viewed it.  We had all worked hard leveraging our individual talents for the sake of the team (DecisionPoint), and it’s success.  We all had individual capabilities, but without trust and coordination, we were not going to succeed.  Every person was important because of the role they performed and the benefit it brought to the team.  I was not about to make a selfish choice that I felt would be detrimental to my teammates and the people in their lives that they care about.

I have carried that mentality in my post-DecisionPoint career, and will continue to do so.  I’m just programmed that way.  Admittedly, I do get frustrated by people that do not think that way, and there seem to be more and more of those people as I get older.  However, I have to step back and remind myself that I am the way I am, and I can’t expect everyone to be that way.  It’s a struggle big time when you see a teammate or co-worker knowingly do something in their own interest that does not benefit the team, and that’s hard to swallow.  However, I also have to remind myself that I can’t control that.  I can only do what I do.

So, as you read this blog, it would be interesting to reflect on whether you would be the Navy Seal that was willing to jump on the grenade to save your teammates at the detriment of yourself.  Would you have the courage to do it or would you walk away?  People that don’t finish reading this blog post probably would not because they are probably the ones that would walk away.

I will not, because I have to be that person.  I have to jump on the grenade….

Expect More Than Others Think Is Possible

My last blog post included the following statements about success.

Care more than others think is wise.

Risk more than others think is safe

Dream more than others think is practical

Expect more than others think is possible

In my last blog post, I focused on different ways to show caring as a co-worker and as a manager.  As I read through this quote again, I was thinking about the next area to focus on.  I reflect on both my career in the IT and computer software industry, and my role as a soccer coach.  I realized that in both cases, I expect a lot more out of myself and others than most people.  It’s been one of the keys to my success.  As I’ve said in other blog posts, I haven’t always been the most gifted in my career, as an athlete, or even as a coach.  However, my success can be directly related to my work ethic and my ability to expect more of myself and of others.  When most people are willing to stop and say “that’s all I can do”, I push forward and say “how can I do more?”

When I was actively coaching youth soccer, one of the comments often made to me as a coach was “how do you get so much out of your players?”  Honestly, I didn’t have any magic formula to it.  I always felt that my ability to grow players was to expect more from them, and to teach them how to expect more from themselves.  Most youth players that I have worked with come with the “that’s all I can do” mindset.  The mind is a powerful thing, and you can very easily convince yourself “that’s all I can do”.  What’s harder is to reflect on how to grow beyond the mental barriers you have set for yourself.  One of my specialties, as a coach, was to help young players learn how to expect more of themselves.  It’s not always the physical limitations that get in your way, but rather the mental barriers you put up.

To take it a step further, my current manager and some co-workers sent me an inspirational quote:  “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”.  I think far too often that we limit ourselves because we think in terms of what we can do today.  We grow comfortable with the current state of things, and worry that if we do something different, we will lose what we have today.  That may be the case, but that thinking can also prevent us from growing and getting in a situation that is better than what we have today.  Life is a risk/reward proposition.  If you don’t take any risks, you maintain what you have today.  If you take risks, you can lose what you have, but more importantly, you can get more than what you have.  I think that far too often people let the worry of losing what they have get in the way of being better.  I’m not saying go out and risk everything all the time.  However, you need to be able to push your boundaries and comfort zone if you want to grow.

This all makes sense.  However, how do we get there?  What do we need to do?  I will use my soccer coaching background as an example, but I think this also applies to managers at work.  The translation is pretty simple.  The manager is the soccer coach.  The workers are your players.  Here are what I feel are the keys to success.

• ·      Communicate, communicate, communicate – Nothing else matters if you can’t establish a clear line of communication.  Also, communicate early and often.  As a coach, you want to make sure that your players are comfortable communicating with you no matter what the situation is.  You need to establish, up front, that you’re going to be open to sharing your thoughts with your players, and you’re also going to be open to hearing their thoughts.  Neither the coach nor the player is going to like everything they hear.  The hardest things I’ve ever had to do as a coach is deliver a message I know a player doesn’t want to hear.  I struggle with that because you worry about how a player will react, or if they will “hate” you.  That’s an extreme view, but I always worry about it.  So, when I have to deliver a tough message, I try to make sure I really think through what I want to say and how I want to say it.  I’m certainly not perfect with it every time.  The bottom line is this:  without open communication, nothing else matters.
• ·      Establish a “no penalties” policy – This is a tough one.  I think the best thing you can do as a coach is to let your players know that you want them to try new things, and that if they do and things don’t go as planned, you’re not going to penalize them.  Of course, you have to establish that there are limits to the risks you want them to take.  However, you want them taking chances and learning from mistakes.  The worst thing you can do as a coach is have a player take a risk, make a mistake, and then immediately substitute them out of the game because the risk didn’t pay off.  Part of it is teaching the player resilience.  What I mean by that is this.  After they take a risk and the outcome didn’t go as planned, you want them to work hard to make up for it.  I always tell my players that it’s not always about what happened, but how you react to what happened.  The one area I will “penalize” a player for is if they took a risk, it didn’t go as planned, and they give up.  At that point, I will substitute them out and the first thing we will talk about is how I expect them to react to a mistake.  I’d much rather have a player trying new things, making mistakes, and hustling to recover from those mistakes than have a player that plays the game trying to avoid making mistakes.  It’s VERY important for the players to know that they have the freedom to make mistakes.
• ·      Goal Setting – At the beginning of the season, I sit down with each player to set goals for what they want to accomplish.  Before the session, I ask them to write down what their goals are, and I write down the goals that I have for them.  Then, we sit down, and review the lists and come up with goals we mutually agree on.  It’s typically a blend of what’s on their list, and what’s on mine.  The goals have to be in two different areas.  First, they have to be what they want to accomplish as an individual.  Second, and more importantly, the goals have to be in the context of their role on the team.  Individual goals aren’t necessarily meaningful if they don’t fit into the larger context of the team.  Additionally, if a player is chasing individual goals that don’t fit in the context of the team, the overall team will not succeed.
• ·      Goal Visibility – I always encourage players to write the goals down, and post them somewhere that they will see them on a regular basis.  It’s not just enough to remember the goals.  The goals need to be visible where the player is regularly reminded of what they want to accomplish.  An odd, but very good place to place the goals are on the ceiling over your bed.  You wake up each morning, and the first things you see are your goals.  What’s nice is that it could be anything.  School, soccer, work, or any other type of goal.  There are other places to post goals, but the key is visibility where you see them each and every day.  It’s a great way to see where you want to go.
• ·      Goal Review – This is absolutely critical.  A huge mistake you can make is to help a player set goals, and then only review the goals at the end of the season.  The key is to have regular review sessions where you can work with the player to assess where they’re at with their goals, and whether any adjustments need to be made.  The worst thing you can do as a coach is to set goals, and get to the end of the season only to have the player realize that they missed all of the goals they set for themselves.

I think the most important part of the above list is that you have to make sure that when you’re setting goals and communicating that the goals involve some level of risk or force the player to get outside of their comfort zone.  But again, it needs to be in the right context.  Risks or goals that force a player outside of their comfort zone only work if the player is not afraid of punishment if the risk or goal did not go as they had planned.  They have to feel somewhat comfortable or safe that when things don’t go well that they have a support system in place to help them work through whatever happens.

The above example uses coaching athletes as the basis.  However, I feel the same applies for managers and employees.  Too often in the work place, we set goals annually or quarterly, and then we don’t go back to review them until after the year or quarter is over.  You look back at the goals you didn’t achieve, and think “gee, if I only reviewed the goal more often, I could have adjusted”.  Most organizations have a setup where managers meet with employees on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.  The first part of the meeting should probably be used to review the goals and where things are at.  It doesn’t have to take a long time, but a quick review.  If things need to be adjusted, you don’t necessarily have to do it in the weekly or bi-weekly meeting, but rather have a follow up planning sessions specific to resetting goals and objectives.

As a final thought on this topic, I think the manager’s job is to come up with goals and objectives that force the employee to get outside of their comfort zone.  Obviously, it’s the manager’s job to understand how much risk each employee can tolerate, and then come up with stretch goals based on that.  However, you want to make sure that employees are pushing themselves to try to achieve something they’re not 100% certain they can achieve.  When a manager does this, great things can happen.  First, if an employee doesn’t achieve the goal, they learn a lot about themselves and what else they may need to do.  Second, when the employee does achieve the goal, it’s very rewarding for both the employee and the manager.

People can do great things in life.  However, they have to learn how to expect more from themselves and get outside of their comfort zone. 

Teamwork and Inspiring Others

I spend a lot of time thinking about teamwork, and how to motivate individuals to focus on the goals of the team rather than their own individual aspirations.  To me, the best functioning teams are when individuals put the team’s needs in front of their own wants or needs.  This is especially difficult with younger generations these days that seem to have grown up in a world where the most important things are what they need, not what the team needs.  Unfortunately, they have a pathetic set of roles models in the form of professional athletes where the concept of teamwork is pushed aside by stars searching for individual glory.

A month or so ago, I received a booklet from a collegiate soccer coach that contains a list of inspirational quotes.  The theme of the quotes center around motivation, individual determination, and things that inspire great people and great teams to do great things.  I keep this list handy at work, and I copy and paste one of the quotes outside of my cubicle at work each day.  The goal is to give people that walk by something to read and think about.  I do this in the hopes that people will read the quote, and use it as a way to motivate themselves, and encourage teamwork.

The quote below was one of the ones I posted at my cubicle this past Friday.  It really summarizes how I approach things in my life. 

Care more than others think is wise.

Risk more than others think is safe

Dream more than others think is practical

Expect more than others think is possible

The topic of this blog will focus on the first line of the quote, and focuses on caring when it comes to the work you do.  To me, there are a couple of different levels of caring when it comes to the workplace.  The obvious part of this is caring about the work you do and feeling that the work you do makes a difference.  Not everyone is going to like everything they have to do as part of their job.  However, that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t care about what they do, and want to be good at doing it. 

More importantly, too often, I think management overlooks the fact that they are responsible for making sure their employees know that the work the employee does makes a difference.  It’s more than just acknowledging the employee’s effort and contribution on a project or task.  The manager also needs to share the broader impact of the employee’s work as it relates to the big picture of the organization.  As an employee, it’s always good to get feedback on your effort and contribution.  However, I find it even more rewarding when management can share with me how something I’ve done contributes to a broader impact on the organization.  It takes your mindset from the day to day task at hand to more of “how am I going to make a difference today?”

There is another aspect of caring that people often overlook in the workplace.  That’s the aspect of caring about your co-workers in your direct team, and teammates on the projects you are assigned to outside of your direct team beyond the tasks and assignments.  Many people don’t understand why you should care about your co-workers or teammates.  They approach work with a mindset that you go to work, do your job, try to get along with your co-workers for the sake of your job, and go home.  That is one approach for doing your job.  However, I don’t think it develops a deeper level of commitment to your co-workers or the organization.

I’ve always approached everything I do with a commitment to a deeper level of caring.  I can’t just go to work, do my job, and go home.  I want to understand the people I work with, what motivates them, and what I can do to make them feel that they are an important part of the team.  This involves a deeper level of caring than most people expect.  However, I have found that this level of caring builds deeper bonds between teammates, and will often cause co-workers to show a higher level of commitment to the organization than they otherwise would show.

To me, this is a difficult topic to explain, and the best way to explain it is through some examples of things I’ve done at work.  Some of the obvious examples are getting to know your co-workers in a more personal way.  Things like learning more about their family and interests outside of work, saying things like “good morning” or “hi” as you pass them in the hallway at work, or even stopping them to briefly chat about something you know is going on in their life like dealing with a sick child, asking about an event in their personal life they participated in, or something like that.  It’s very easy to get caught up in your own day to day activities at work and forget about your co-workers.  However, taking the time to make even the simplest gesture makes a difference.

Related to the above mentioned things, you can do little things for co-workers that make their day brighter.  This might include inviting them for a walk to get a cup of coffee, seeing if they want to join you for lunch or a snack, or even sending a co-worker a quick email wishing them a good day.  This also might include something like surprising them with a cup of coffee “just because you felt like it”.  I often find little impromptu surprises like this will brighten a co-worker’s day and make them feel special. 

There are other things that I like to do that make a difference for larger groups of people.  This involves organizing random events and inviting the entire team and/or organization.  These can often be difficult because you often have a diverse set of co-workers with different interests.  So, it’s important to mix the events up so that co-workers feel comfortable participating in them.  Here are some examples of things I’ve organized.

·      Going to a local bar or pub to socialize.  You can include drinkers and non-drinkers as the goal is to really just go and spend social time with your co-workers.

·      Hosting a breakfast where I’ve made waffles and asked people to bring their favorite waffle toppings to share with the group.  We use a room where people can stand or sit and socialize with their co-workers.

·      Hosing an ice cream sundae making event similar to the breakfast.

·      When I travel, I will often bring small gifts back to share with co-workers.  For example, I went to visit my parents in Lancaster, PA.  I brought back food to share with my co-workers as the food in that part of the country is not available where we work.  It allowed me to share a bit about myself and my history in unique way.

I think the most important aspect of these events are that they are not formally organized by management or the organization, but rather by co-workers.  If the events are organized by management, they often are too formal, and lose their impact.

There is one other aspect that I think is very important.  In today’s work environment, you are often working with co-workers that are in home offices or remote locations.  It’s very important that anything you do makes them feel included.  For example, when I hosted the ice cream sundae making event, I did it on a day that my co-workers from Spokane were going to be in town so that everyone felt included.  You can also use things like interoffice mail or even regular mail to send them things related to an event you are organizing.  In the case of bringing gifts from when I travel, I sent a package of gifts to my co-workers in Spokane similar to the gifts I brought back to share with my co-workers in Seattle.  I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to include remote co-workers in everything you plan to do.

As I said, not everyone believes that caring is an important aspect in work, but I have done these types of things everywhere I’ve worked, and it’s always made a big difference to my co-workers.  It’s about making a difference to people in ways they might not otherwise expect.  Plus, it’s just a lot of fun!